Spud's Rambling Rants

OK, I've always had my share of commercials I hate. Who doesn't? More specfically, commercials I love to hate, such as the Welches Grape Juice ad (Dammit, I want to throttle that girl, she's so perfect), or the Lays commercial ("One for you, one for you, one for you, ten for me!").

The following commercial is one that I do not love to hate it. I loathe it.

This upcoming rant isn't comical, like the Welches Grape Juice ad.

Anyway, maybe you have seen this commercial. It consists of an abstract camera angle capturing teens saying phrases like "I am who I am." and "I'm not afraid to be myself." Most of them are wearing clothes that are radically different form one another, yet, coincidentially, all trendy and "hip". As I was watching this, I thought it would end in some kind of "Don't give in to peer pressure" statements that you might see in one of those "Concerned Parents Ads" that promotes things such as freedom of opinion, expression, and maybe the odd "Don't Smoke".

For those of you who haven't seen this commercial, let me tell you what it was actually "promoting".

Concerned Parents?

Nope. Not even close.

Wal-Mart.

I don't think I have ever been so disgusted and sickened in my life. Not only do these teens say things such as the above, but many of them also say "I would never wear something just because I heard it was cool".

Excuse me? Generally that statement should be 100 metres away from any commercial advertising clothes.

I swear, that one comment alone just made me want to rip who ever ran that company's scalp off. I mean maybe, just maybe, I'm over-reacting (In fact, I know I am), but still. What a *expletive deleted* below the belt attempt at a commercial.

Please note for the record that I had extreme difficulty keeping my language PG in the above passage.

I really don't mean to offend anyone, but my subconscious impression is that Walmart is a kind of thrift store for people on welfare. Now again, I don't mean to offend anyone, but I live in Canada, and there aren't as many Walmarts there as there are in the US. I also have noticed that the people in their commercials majorly feature overweight women who have five or more kids and speak in a Southern drawl. Oh, and somehow, all these women manage to buy everything they need at Walmart! Extraordinary!

Well that's it for today.

I swear, I think I'm going to die at age forty with all this anger building up <=O

Cor! 200 more hits in the last hour!

I really have to stop posting all this positive stuff, but I don't have anything to rant about. Fine. I'll shut up for now. See if I care. *pouts*

Just informing people that I'm a BIG reader and I am putting up some of my favorties (favorties???? that could be a new word) on the books sidebar. However, I am only putting a few select books as I have a lot of them. I know, I know, this is a ranting blog, but get used to it. Everyone has their happy moments. =D So here is a list of my favorites:

Sword of Truth series (Terry Goodkind); Harry Potter (J.K Rowling); The Silverwing saga (Kenneth Oppal); His Dark Materials Trilogy (Phillip Pullman); Arthur trilogy (Kevin Crossley-Holland); Diadem series (John Peel...anybody who's read these books knows they're, like, 5th grade reading level, but I don't really care.) Dirk Pitt books (Clive Cussler); Tales of Redwall series, Castaways of the Flying Dutchman, the Angel's Command (Brian Jacques); The Hobbit (J.R.R Tolkien); The Sight, and Firebringer (David Clements-Davies); Carrie, Everything's Eventual (Stephen King)...the list goes on.

I copied he above list from my account on www.fictionpress.com. Search for the Pen Name "Terry Pratchett" If you are interested.

I dunno why I even thought about writing that stupid post a minute ago. Who in their right mind would post something like that. Other than me, of course. Whatever. I suppose it was becuase my brian imploded or something like that >:D

Oh yes, asking my readers out there. A question for you, or anyone that can answer. I checked by blog's stats today and it says I have a total of 1200 hits. Thats a big number in my mind, but I'm not sure if thats the normal number an average blog might get in a month or so or I really (gasp!) do have a lot of readers. Anyone who has a blog and knows its stats, I'd appreciate it greatly if you have any answers.

Also, if you are an annoying kind of person, I wouldn't mind it if you attempted to piss me off in some kind of way. I need some material to rant about :D

The post I'm about to write next may seem a bit odd to some people (but then again, when isn't it), because it may not be my buisness and it obviuosly isn't related to someone my age. Anywho...

A while back, and many elementry kids still do it today, the insulting and anti-ness of Barney the Dinosaur was in its prime. I'm (to my great regret) quite familiar with some of these kids shows due to having a five year old sister. Anyway, people had average reasons for hating thr imaginery purple guy, for example, he was purple and green, he was make believe, and he had the stupidest voice. Yes while Barney the Dinosaur is quite annoying sometimes, the show itself, I have to admit, isn't that bad and well constucted for little kids.

This blog is about the shows that you should never, ever, ever, let your kids watch, if you have any.

Maybe you're thinking, "Why is he mentioning this topic? He's a teenager for Ed's sake." Reason: because this is a ranting blog. 

Anyway, other people (the same ones, more likely) made fun of another show that came along about 5 or 6 years ago. Teletubbies. Unlike Barney, this is a show you want to keep your kids away from. Seriously. I remember, when I was about twelve, flicking chanels in the afternoon, and I came across the Teletubbies. Just for fun, I wanted to see what the show actually consisted of. OK, so I'm very weird, but what else is new. Anyway all four teletubbies were "playing" (the word needs quotes), and suddenly their vacuum cleaner takes away their ball, and procedes to throw it so it gos aorund in circles inside the little dome. The teletubbies chase the vacuum cleaner, who is chasing the ball, for (I'm serious about this) four minutes. I do not know how these two year olds today can watch this crap and not be bored.

Some of the shows on Nickolodeon for preschoolers are actually pretty educational, such as Blue's Clues, which some people hate, but my sister loved. However she also loves Dora the Explorer, which in my opinion is the repetative show on the face of the planet (Actually the last one I'll talk about is the most repetative, but meh). Not only that, but I swear it was made for Mexican immigrants with whiny little kids.  "Can you say 'Ola'? Say 'Ola'! Say 'Ola'! When I say 'Amigo', you say 'Ola'! *long 15 second pause* Amigo! *Another long pause* Yay! You said 'Ola'!

However the worst show known to man is one that I do not know the name of. It is such a blatant reproduction of teletubbies only ten times as bad and five times as dull and repetative. There are 5 little creatures who are all different colours  and they look like they are made with a whole blob of jelly on the inside and furry skin on the outside with what looks like a baby doll's head on top. I swear, these little buggers stand up and fall down in syncronized motion for the entire thirty minutes of the show. OK, I admit it, I didnt watch this for more than two minutes, but if I had watched the whole thing I believe my brain woud have imploded, so in the interest of being cynical, I think they did that for the whole show. However I have been channel surfing on various other dates and, passing the channel they were on, observed that they were still on the same motion. This show is a symbol of the occult, so (unless you are Wicca) do not watch it or face the dire consequnces (i.e. your brain imploding).

On a quick note, another show that is hellish and a symbol of all things unhuman is Mona the Vampire. Aimes at the elementry crowd, the buggers they are, this show actually makes no sense. I think you have to read all of the forty-seven books it's based on to get the tiniest gleam of understanding.

Well that's it for my weird blog for today. See you soon.

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Oh yes, Nat, if you're reading this, I'd love to know whose blog has a link to mine :D. Thanx for your time.

Ok, I'm ready now. Anywho...

I went for a swim at my local community center yesterday. And whadayouknow, this is the first time it's happened at this place when I'm there, some snotty little 2 year old kid takes a crap.

Ok, many of us have all been there. It's probably happened to you if you go to pools frequently. But it just pisses me off. I mean I can just see it now. Dad sees little Johnny make a floater and his "abosrbant water diaper" doesn't catch it. "Whoops Johnny, we have to go to the change rooms now." And the delinquent daddy sets off at a slow jog away to the changerooms, whistling iInconspicuously all the way to the change rooms.

Of course, they get evrybody out and then...wait for it... this is so embarrasing...one of the lifeguards has to take a net the catch all the bits of "waste" (with a net, thank god...oh I typed that already), and dump them ina  plastic garbage can. If I had to do that I'd be so humiliated because that day there were TONS of 8, 9, and 10 year olds, and they were all shouting "Eww, gross", and "Dis -- Disgus -- Oh whatever... gross!", but somehow still found it fascinating to watch. Kids these days *said in a old grampster kind of voice*

Well, that's it for today, folks! Please. please, please leave a comment regarding how you think of my post or blog in general. Thank you and good nig -- wait a minute...it's nine thirty in the morning...ugggghhhh I give up...

Sorry, I haven't ranted in a while; I've had stuff to do lately. Although I doubt some of you care.

Anyway, todays post is on unanswered questions.

You may have seen some of these jokes on the internet. For example.

"When a cow sneezes, does milk come out of its nose?"

"What cruel person thought of the word 'lisp'?"

"If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?"

You get the picture. The above quotes are in great abundance al over the internet and in email. However, while people may ponder them for a moment, they are meant to be funny. Anyways, I have a couple questions that no ones really explained in life. These arent meant t be funny. Think about them for a minute.

My first one I ever thought of, and its a damn good one too:

"When you see a commercial comparing Swiffer Sweeper [or toilet paper, or Mr. Clean, etc.] with the "leading brand", and Swiffer Sweeper is supposedly better than the leading brand, then how come the the leading brand is the one that's leading?"

Here's another:

"Why are they called birds of prey if they're predators?"

And here's one that was on a joke list that I got that's supposed to be funny, but frankly it makes me wonder:

"When do blind people know when they've finished wiping?"

Well, I don't have any more real mindbenders so thats my post for today. Leave some of your own if you have any. 

Not really a rant, is it. Nope, amazingly there's nothing lately tha -- Wait! I just thought of something right now! Hold on a minute and I'll do my next post!