Spud's Rambling Rants

A follow-up to my "Bleary Blogs" post; here's a blog I noted, not for the blog itself but the comment left for the first post. Absolutlely hilarious. Specifically checkout the website of "dami", whoever, she is =).

http://lovejam.blog.com/

I can just see it now: "Hey, they have a Massage Board here. Lets spam it!"

Hee hee. "Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless!"

You know something that I can't stand? It started in about the summer of last year. They fed the minds of millions of pathetic girls who fantasized about being these actual people. What am I speaking about? You should know by now. All the "teen girl" books. The Gossip Girl series should be chopped up into little pieces and burned. And then the ashes scattered across the sea floor. And Georgia Nicholson? I don't care if she's a fictional character; she should be hung, drawn, and quartered. Now when ever I go in to the "teen section" in a Chapters (or an Indigo, if you're American) I find that more than half of the shelf space has been taken up by books that look different, because they are all essentially the same: makeup, boyfriends, backstabbing, boyfriends, proms, boyfriends, sex, and best friends. Here I will have to declare a disclaimer of sorts: I have never properly read one of these books (no surprise, although I have surruptitiously glanced at a Georgia Nicholson book just to see how abysmally girly it was. And it was. Sorry, but those of you who read Georgia Nicholson: Those books are crap. They are just insanely, utterly stupid. I can't imagine any real girl being as much of a damn whore as Georgia Nicholson is. Oh my god, those British authors are stoned). Don't get me wrong; I like giggly, friendly girls; I think that's fine, and, frankly, kind of sexy =) But what I can't stand are the stereotypical teenage, know-it-all, sun-soaking, back-stabbing "Girls just want to have fun" bitches who seem to be exactly the kind portrayed in the majority of characters in these "novels", if you can call them that. Seriously, most girls aren't like this, so don't hunt me down, but these people do exist. I think the thing which really gets to me most about these books are how there was such an obsession over it. I think it's sort of passed now, but at my old school a year or so ago, practically every girl, no matter how unpopular, popular, bitchy or smart, was reading them and would shriek like those bloody fan girls you might get at Simple Plan concerts when they compared opinions of their favorite parts of the book. I guess the experience must be a lot like talking about a well-known scene from some sappy sitcom from the night before like Friends, only with a lot more good old female fantasizing.

Well, anyway, I think the minor craze has subsided for now. And speaking of subsiding crazes...here's another book related thing that pissed me off for a brief moment. I am so godamn sick of the pathetic attempts of 30-something authors ('specially female...but that will be my last sexist comment...=) ) trying to write books that try to copy the success of Harry Potter, only aimed at slightly younger children. You've seen them at book stores: The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, The Spyderwick Chronicles; man, I don't know why, but those just sicken me. They're stupid. They just are. The maddening thing is, they actually sell. I can't stand it.

Ok, I feel better now =) That's a nice, solid rant.

Had a long day. Song to fit my mood: Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

Today was really introspective. It was very long.  I fell asleep in English class due to my skiing weekend and I lost a potential girlfriend. Right now I feel like shutting out everything around me.

Sorry to all readers; I left Friday afternoon for a ski trip and didn't have the time to write an post saying I would be temporarily offline. Be sure that I had lots to write about when I left, but it's all mixed into one big pile of emotions so I don't feel very cynical right now. Weirdly enough I had a relatively good day, yet I suddenly feel very angsty and adolescent. Not only that but I'm closing in on a potential girlfriend, so that's all good.

Hmmm. Today I just feel like chillaxing. Have to stop doing that or I'll become a "You gotta hear this" =)

Oh yeah! I remember! U2 is in Vancouver April 28th! Yes! I want to go to that so badly. If I get tickets you can rest assured I'll be there at GM Place. Hah, this is going to be so cool. And they're giving away free tickets on Rock101.

http://www.u2.com/news/index.php?mode=full&news_id=1297

Anywho...I'll post later =)

Front page of The Vancouver Sun this morning:

Pentagon tried to create a love-bomb, papers show

By Michael Smith

 LONDON - The Pentagon examined the possibility of developing an aphrodisiac bomb that would cause enemy troops to find one another sexually irresistable, newly declassified documents reveal.
  It also considered development of a "Who? Me?" bomb that would produce odours that suggested that other soldiers were passing wind or had serious halitosis to disrupt enemy morale.
 The $11-million Cdn, six year research project suggested the use of "chemicals that affect human behavior so that discipline and morale in enemy units is [sic] adversely affected."
 It is not known if, or when, the program was abandoned.
 "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical caused homo-secual behavior."
 They also considered chemicals that would make the enemy troops sexually attracted to "annoying or injurious animals" such as stinging and biting bugs or rodents.

Man, and I thought our Canadian government was weird. Sorry, but your Republicans are just insane. -_-

Lights go down, it's dark
The jungle is your head
Can't rule your heart
A feeling is so much stronger than
A thought
Your eyes are wide
And though your soul
It can't be bought
Your mind can wander

Hello hello
I'm at a place called Vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
Except you give me something I can feel, feel

The night is full of holes
As bullets rip the sky
Of ink with gold
They twinkle as the
Boys play rock and roll
They know they can't dance
At least they know….

I can't stand the beats
I'm asking for the cheque
The girl with crimson nails
Has Jesus round her neck
Swinging to the music
Swinging to the music
Oh oh oh oh

Hello hello
I'm at a place called Vertigo
It's everything I wish I didn't know
But you give me something I can feel, feel

Check mated
Oh yeah
Hours of fun…

All of this, all of this can be yours
All of this, all of this can be yours
All of this, all of this can be yours
Just give me what I want and no-one gets hurt….

Hello hello
We're at a place called Vertigo
Lights go down and all I know
Is that you give me something

I can feel your love teaching me how
Your love is teaching me how, how to kneel…

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

I appreciate the comments I've been drawing for my post "Bleary Blogs", but i just wanted to make something clear anyway. As a general comment to all who post their own comments on "Bleary Blogs": it was supposed to be humorous. While I do have a laugh at the "Stoner" blogs (and sometimes post some quite harsh comments on them), this was still just supposed to be a rambling parody and I do not actually feel that much scorn towards most of the blog types listed on the post. Just clearing that up in case I mentioned your blog and you were offended. =)

On the other hand...

Patricia, you sound like you're offended at the comment I posted on your blog, or my post "Bleary Blogs", or a combination of both. I have to admit, the comment I wrote ("Go to www.babybutterfly.blog.com. That blogger is almost as stoned as you are.") may have been a tad cutting, but you must admit; when your first post is titled "I am your cyber friend" and you say your name is "Anaesthethic Dec,30 , 1334"  many people, such as I, get the impression you live in some sort of institution. Thank you.

(For those who want to see Patricia's oh-so-comprehensable blog, go to www.isityou.blog.com)

Some of the blogs on this site are just insane. I have a variety of things I do when I am mind-numbingly bored (many of them are unmentionables) and one of themis search up random blogs on the site. My God, you can get your fill of entertainment here at www.blog.com. Actually, after searching pointlessly through a series of updated blogs today I've managed to compile all blogs into a catagorisational system:

Firstly, every single blog falls into one of two pre-catagories:

• Testing blogs: All of the bloggers who start their first blog with "this is a test" (if its a guy) or "so this is my first post i had a great day today cum back sooooon!" (if its a girl)
• Perfectionist blogs: The people who don't do the above. For now I think that's just me.

Now, these blogs fall through to the main sections:

• "You gotta hear this" blogs: Make up the majority of blogs. Consist of (on average) one post every four minutes and thirty seconds. Describes his or her day in agonizing detail, especially if it's a girl. Girl's blogs of this type are usually something you wouldn't want to raise at a dinner party, as they are long and uncomprehendable.  Guy's blogs of this type try to act like the world's against them, with a smattering of profanity stuck in for good measure. A kick-ass example: http://princesskatie.blog.com/
• Cabron blogs: Foreign blogs, usually Spanish or Portuguese, also uncomprehendable except for the presence of nine thousand emoticons stuck in random places for intrinsic value.
• Four Letter Blogs: Bloggers are predominantly guys, ultra paranoid and use the "f word" (don't jump to the conclusion that I don't use profanity) about twice every second in their blogs. People and inanimate objects they are mad at usually don't exist.
• Stoner blogs: Bloggers who seem to be actually inebriated and/or stoned. Best source of entertainment on the site. A perfect example: www.babybutterfly.blog.com
• Non-existential blogs: Blogs that actually have no point in existing. Really that includes all of the above, but for technical purposes, here's a good example: http://teresa.blog.com/
• Meandering blogs: These are the most normal blogs. Very rare. Made up of casual conversation and mild rants while still staying intellectual. A good example: http://arybba.blog.com/
• Spud's Rambling Rants: Yes, that's right. I have a whole catagory for myself. If I think about it, my blog is a Meandering blog with a dash of a "You gotta hear this" attitude, and a slight, slight sprinkle of a Stoner style. Add a half pound of cynicism, and you've got www.ranting.blog.com =)

The craziest thing about the majority of blogs is that people think that because people don't know who they are, they can write about random stuff and people will magically understand it without knowing their real identity! Quoth one blog (a "You gotta hear this"): "i used to have a Livejournal but everyone i knew was reading it so i got this and now i can vent and no one will know me." OK, I understand the urge to express oneself without being known; that's how this blog was started. But if privacy is all you want then get a certain something called a diary. If it isn't, and, *gasp*, you want people to understand you without meeting you and knowing your personal life, then write something goddamn legible.

The weirdest thing? The only thing I haven't seen on www.blog.com is posts or comments on how weird some of these blogs actually are =D

Here's something slightly surreal. After searching up "Spud's Rambling Rants" (on Altavista; strangely Google didn't bring it up) I came across http://www.blogshares.com/blogs.php?blog=http%3A%2F%2Franting.blog.com%2F. OK, maybe it's just me, but I don't recall planning to subdivide my blog to investors for future financial gain. Anyway, it was just cool to look it up. Especially since mine is supposedly worth $1,550 =). Notice, Nat, that your blog is up there, too. And yours is only worth 1K. OK meanness aside, your shares are worth more than mine.

And...

<html>
<begin shameless boasting>

Twelve thousand hits in six months. What can I say. I'm a wanted guy.

</boast>

Sorry, that was out of character and, furthermore, hypocritical, but I guess everyone needs to show off once in a while =)

And, finally, thank you amazing author Ned Vizzini for posting a nice fat comment on my previous post. Dunno if he'll be back, because I aim for the angsty teen demographic. Then again, the book I read of his was mildly based on teen angst, so...whatever. I have a Socials case study to do and I'm procrastinating.

Could anyone tell me, by writing a comment, how many cumulative blog hits they have and how long their blog has been up for? Thanks a lot!