Spud's Rambling Rants

In middle class life there are three ways to prospering and living comfortably:

1) Live like a proper daughter should in the burbs, do well in school, go to a nice old school college, climb the corporate ladder, get married at 26, knocked up at 28, have 2.1 kids, retire at 60 with a nice RRSP.

Good god, I used to think that show was funny. And some of the time it is. But man, anyone with a fat toddler and a black market sony cam can make a wad of cash. Half the clips on that damn show are parents who stage their little stinker's habits that are so hucking filarious, supposedly. And we get subjected to that.

About a week or so ago there was a AFV rerun on TV of a $100,000 season finale special that was a year or so old. Throughout the one hour episode they play the six clips that are eligible for the $100,000 grand prize and an all-expenses paid trip to Disneyland. At the end they line up all six families onstage. ALL SIX videos focus on children that are no more then six years of age at most. Every single one has no element of humour whatsoever. One almost makes it, with the crude humour shot: a little five year old girl is being filmed in her dad's arms, throwing an absolute tantrum cause she doesn't have a penis. This is just enough to crack a smile at, but she completely ruins what little humour there is by finally frowning and saying straight to the camera: "I want to go to Disneyland!" So the audience gets to vote, and, as it's made up of entirely mid twenty somethings who just got married and want a picture perfect family of their own, they think, I'm going to vote for which kid is the cutest! And of course the worst one wins. Some two year old boy that's vainly trying to drink from a garden hose, and each time he bends over he accidentally blocks the water with his little two year old pants, and he can't drink the water. Hee-larious. And the family who has done jack squat, gets 100,000 greenbacks and a trip to the Happiest Place on Earth.

You know what? You suck, ABC.