Spud's Rambling Rants

Something that has always aggravated me? Celebrities. More specifically, their babies. More so, what they name their babies.

It seems every second celebrity who has had a baby in the last decade or so has given it the most ridiculous of names. Some are odd. Some are just downright weird.

I mean, Courtney Cox-Arquette (whom I've always despised on Friends; I've discovered I don't trust white women with long straight black hair) names her kid CoCo. Coco!?! What?  What were you high on when you were deciding baby names with your husband? And someone's named their baby Apple, I can't quite remember who. Ah, and it seems that David and Angela Bowie have named their baby Zowie. Seriously, can you imagine a kid named Zowie Bowie? Wow. Everytime I think of that name I get the giggles. And then there's just the gibberish ones. Richard Gere has a son named "Jigme". Kevin Bacon has a daughter named "Sosie". It's madness, I tell you. And these are the people who constantly complain TO THE MEDIA "Stop, we don't want any more attention, the papparazi almost ran over my dog!" sort of thing (and at this point I'd like to kindly inform you that being a papparazi is possibly the coolest job on the planet. I saw an Inside Edition report on this; you get paid six figure salaries AND you get to carry around a camera that has a lens scope longer than you are tall. Nice. Back to your scheduled broadcasting).

And that leads me to normal people and the way they name their children. Another thing that irks me? Parents who like to name their children with totally different misspellings of traditional names (most often substituting a "y" for an "i" or something similar). Let me think of an example...ah, here we are: Kaytlin. That sort of thing. Or Jayson. Or Terri. Or Amee (Yes, I personally know of a family who has named their daughter Amee. I seriously think they should be gassed to death). Note that this also seems to happen triple its normal rate in the American midwest; after all, with grizzled old farmers protecting their virgin daughters named "Bobbi-Sue" and "Sarah-Jayne", you'd practically expect there to be some letter-switching hijinks going on somewhere there.

Ah, and that leads me to one final annoyance: Parents who have identical twins and feel that they simply have to dress them up in exactly the same clothes, because they are oh so proud of their beautiful twins. I want to go up to them (usually just single mothers by themselves actually) and say "Excuse me? Ma'am? No one gives a shit."